High-earning dad angers wife after missing birthday dinner prepared by her, their 6-year-old, and 3-year-old: 'I make 750k and that takes up a lot of my time'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 7, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

There is no denying that having a family ain't cheap. There are plenty of costs, both obvious and more hidden, that come with having kids, and if you have a parent who doesn't work on top of that, what you save in childcare, you more than make up for in having another person to take care of financially. 

That being said, just because being the sole breadwinner can be stressful, it is not always an excuse to not be present with your loved ones. While it's true that it is putting in the hours that puts food on the table, one of the biggest responsibilities of choosing to have a family is spending time with them. No matter what excuse they may have, those who shirk that responsibility are almost always going to run into difficulties that money can't solve. Work isn't everything, especially when you have children waiting for you at home.

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  • This is something that one father and husband had to reckon with after missing the birthday dinner that his pregnant wife and two kids prepared for him because he was busy at work. A high earner and the sole income for the family, he felt like he had a responsibility to be dedicated to his job.

    However, his wife had asked multiple times for him to be more present at home and was deeply disappointed in him for missing out on his birthday celebrations. He wanted to know if he had truly done something wrong.

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    Cheezburger Image 10502381568
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for telling my pregnant wife to just hire help and missing the birthday dinner she and the kids planned?

    I (37M) work a high-paying job and make roughly 750k that takes up a lot of my time. My wife (31F) is seven months pregnant, and we have two kids, ages 6 and 3. My wife has been telling me she's really tired and stressed. She's taking care of the kids, the house, and handling everything while also pregnant. She also does small things for me, like making sure my clothes are ready for work and managing household stuff. She's asked me to be around more, but I told her we can just hire help like a c
    via Informal_Cancel_2479
  • 03
    She got upset and said she doesn't want to hire someone; she just wants me to be home more. Last week was my birthday. My wife and kids planned a small dinner at home. The kids were so excited and even helped bake me a cake. But work ran late, and I didn't get home until after 10 PM. By then, the kids were asleep, the food was cold, and my wife just sat there quietly and said, "They waited for you." I felt bad, but I honestly thought we could just celebrate another time. I'm working hard to give
    via Informal_Cancel_2479
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    Cheezburger Image 10502381824
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Outsiders were in disbelief at the attitude he was taking.

    Runnrgirl This is rage bait right? Your payments are going to be child support if you keep up this attitude OP. YTA
    via Runnrgirl
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    HappyMooseFact YTA. Your kids won't remember the money you brought home. They will remember you never being there.
    via HappyMooseFact
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    LadyPundit I'm simply gobsmacked that OP talked about the sweet gesture and excitement of his kids wanting to make him feel special on his birthday and blew it off because they could do something another time. He couldn't even be bothered to be present for one day. It makes me wonder if there is someone at work who is more important to him than his wife and kids. What a completely selfish person.
    via LadyPundit
  • 08
    BlazingSunflowerland He also considers having his clothes ready for work and taking care of the house as small things. Spoken like a man who has never done anything for himself.
    via BlazingSunflowerland
  • 09
    tattoovamp YTA - you aren't listening to your wife. They need YOU at home. To be present with them. You are literally the dad in the song Cats in the Cradle.
    via tattoovamp
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    Ocean_Spice YTA. If you can easily afford to hire help, you can easily afford to be home early for one night to have a special dinner with your kids. They're going to remember you not being there. I remember all the times my dad didn't show up.
    via Ocean_Spice
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    Masterspearl YTA- There's more to life than work. You don't get to outsource doing your part. Clock out when you've told your wife you will and go home and do all of the things you're supposed to be doing.
    via Masterspearl
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    Ancient-Meal-5465 YTA my uncle earns so much more than you and still manages to be home when he needs to. It sounds like you're underperforming at your job.
    via Ancient-Meal-5465
  • 13
    ParticularMeringue74 Yes YTA. You couldn't be more of an AH if you tried. Please seek mental health support immediately for you, your amazing wife, and probably your children, too.
    via ParticularMeringue74
  • 14
    Superb_Jaguar6872 Straight up you sound like the dad from an 80-90s movie who has to learn the meaning of family. I think they wrote a song about you....something about a cats cradle and a silver spoon. Listen and cry while you eat your cake alone at the kitchen counter at 1am cause you can't sleep and your wife won't cuddle with you anymore. YTA.
    via Superb_Jaguar6872
  • 15
    lady-scorpio-45 Seriously? Get a clue, dude. YTA
    via lady-scorpio-45
  • 16
    Soaper0429 YTA. Your wife is seven months pregnant. I can't tell you how tired and stressed she is. In two months she's going to have another child to care for. You couldn't take off to celebrate with your family? These years are slipping away. Money isn't everything. You can never buy that time back.
    via Soaper0429
  • 17
    puplife09 Yes, you're the a_h_le. Your children are only young once once they are grown, that's it. You don't get those birthdays with them. You don't get to make childhood memories with them. They will grow up knowing dad cared more about work than his family. Good job, you broke your children's hearts, and most likely, your wife's having to watch the joy leave your children's faces once they realize you weren't going to show up.
    via puplife09
  • 18
    JariaDnf Your priorities are 1. work 2. family and that is backwards. You should consider yourself lucky that your family loves you and wants you home. I get work pressures, I had the high pressure job that had me working crazy hours, missing family stuff and I had to choose. I chose to prioritize a healthy work/life balance and let me tell you, it changes everything. When you're gone, work won't care, they'll replace you in a month. Your wife and kids will care though. You want to work hard to
    via JariaDnf
  • 19
    WomanNotAGirl Y definitely TA your wife is a married single mom of almost three kids. Money isn't everything. Money doesn't make up for loss time.
    via WomanNotAGirl
  • 20
    ΥΤΑ CrystalQueen3000 She wants you around more, you know the person she married and had kids with. She needs you step up as a husband and a father and to show her some love and empathy instead of trying to outsource it. Keep neglecting your family and they won't always be around, a paycheque isn't enough
    via CrystalQueen3000
  • 21
    imfinewithastraw YTA being rich shouldn't buy you things, it should buy you time. Get a cleaner, get a cook if it helps. These things enable your wife to spend time with the kids. You need to have some perspective. It was your birthday. Tell people in advance you are leaving by x time to spend it with your family. Stick to it. Create some boundaries at work. No one expecting this every day but you have to have some prioritised family time or you're going to end up with an expensive divorce and k
    via imfinewithastraw
  • 22
    YTA Apprehensive War9612 You're working hard to give her a life she doesn't want. You want to give her a nanny. She wants a partner. But no worries, your hard work will help pay child support & alimony when she leaves you.
    via Apprehensive_War9612
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    YTA Apprehensive War9612 You're working hard to give her a life she doesn't want. You want to give her a nanny. She wants a partner. But no worries, your hard work will help pay child support & alimony when she leaves you.
    via Apprehensive_War9612
  • 24
    SoOverlt66 You're a bad father.
    via SoOverIt66
  • 25
    Lucky-Lie8896 You're definitely TA! I'm trying to see if this is legitimately a joke or if this is real because you can't be that dense. You have no prioritization for what's important in your life. Obviously your family is at the bottom of the barrel for you. Either you get it together and make them a priority, or you prepare for an inevitable divorce your wife will bring to you. Get over yourself and step up for your family before your wife finds a man willing to do it for you. Your wife and c
    via Lucky-Lie8896

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